Monday, December 5, 2011

I Am The Girl...

   I am the girl you see with a book in her hand every chance she gets. I am the girl who loves music almost as much as herself. I am the girl who puts others first, the one who loves the Lord more than anything and will stop at nothing to keep her family safe. I am the girl who tries to do what's right, always tells the truth, and worries a little bit to much. I am the girl you can trust with all of your secrets and know in your heart that I wouldn't say a word.  I am the girl that tries hard not to care what people think but doesn't always succeed. I am the girl who loves to write, the girl that has an imagination bigger than the world itself. I am the girl who is always thinking, even in her sleep. I am the girl that sits in class daydreaming out of the window with thoughts running through her head that no one else could decipher. The girl who thinks outside of the box. I am the girl who is only me, the one thing that I try to be. I am me.

Friday, December 2, 2011

Buried Alive

    I could hear the muffled sobs of my friends and family through the closed wooden door that kept us apart.
 Dont Cry.  I tried to tell them, but my mouth wouldn't move. I'm not dead I promise! I knew that, but they didn't. Everyone else thought my soul had departed itself from my body and made its way to a new place, but I knew differently. I knew were it really was, the truth. It was still tucked away inside my body, the same place it had been for the past fifteen years of my life. My body, on the other had, was somewhere it had never been before. I was being forced to attend my own funeral, but my heart was still beating. In fact, the longer I laid in that coffin, the harder it began to beat agains the walls of my chest.
    "Not my baby! She was to young to die!" I wasn't dead! What about this did they not understand?
    "It's ok. She's in a better place now."
    No Dad, I'm not! I"m still here, right in front of you! Would he miss me? Would anyone miss me?
  I felt a tear roll down my cheek. Maybe someone would see that I was crying! Maybe they'll realize that I'm alive!
  No such luck. NO one noticed. I tried to move my arms, even just a little, but nothing happened. I tried to say something but only I could hear it.
  Please! Help me! I screamed, but only I could hear it.
    My coffin started to move. They were putting me in the ground.
  Again, I focused all of my energy on opening my mouth. It didn't work, I was doomed! I was going to be trapped, six feet under thousands of pounds of dirt, grass, and all things living. There was nothing I could do now, but I wouldn't give up. Soon it was going to be to late but I refused to die without putting up a fight.
  They were lowering me down now. My chances were almost up. I was terrified. Sad visions of death flashed through my head. I shuttered at the horrible thought of being stuck here in my own personal dungeon-like coffin.
  I felt myself hit the ground. An avalanche of dirt fell upon me like snow off a mountain in the middle of winter. I laid there, silently, for what seemed like eternity. Gradually, oh so gradually, I was finally able to move my body. I clawed with utter desperation, trying to escape.
  "Help me! Help!" I screamed. "I'm alive! Can anyone hear me?" I knew they couldn't. My voice echoed against the sullen walls of the box that contained me. I laid down my head in surrender. It was over. I was over. This is where I would lay, from now through eternity.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Heart Break Love


          She loved him. She had loved him her whole life. He was on her mind where ever she went. They were together most of the time, but when they wernen't, he was still in her head. No matter where she was, he was always there. Just like a song that wouldn't quit playing. Nothing he could do would ever make her stop loving him, but it might make it impossible. He made her feel valuable, he made her feel happy. No amount of time she could spend with him would ever be enough, not even forever. But it didn't last forever. SHe knew things would never be the same. Not between them, and certainly not for herself. He was a big part of who she was and without him, she would never be whole. She hadn't the foggiest idea of how to live her life without him. Was it even possible? She was broken and torn, not sure ho to be happy if he wasn't in her life. She'd force a smile on her face even though it hurt, because a sad smile was better than no smile at all.
         He loved her. He always would just like he always had. He'd known her for as long as he could remember, and she meant the world to him. More than anyone else he'd ever known. She had always done everything with him, given him the chance to live on the edge. With her he shared the best times of his life. She was the one that knew him better than anyone, just as well as he knew his own self. She had turned him into the man that he was just by loving him the only way she knew how. By keeping his secret, he knew that she was hurting and, in return, it broke his heart. He hated to see her in pain, and he couldn't stand that the reason was him. Guilt tore through his body like a fire burning in the forest. He knew his life would never be the same without her in it. He was forever broken, unmendable. He knew by ending it, he was doing the right thing despite the pain it forcedhim.
        Three years later, she found herself in her junior year of college. The initial sting of losing him hadn't disappeared, but turned into a never ending ache. She kept the smile on her face, determined to be strong but never willing to forget the boy she had once loved. Still loved. She would never know the truth. All she could do was hope and pray that one day maybe, just maybe, her knight and shining armor would come looking for her once again.
       He never imagined that this much later in his life he would still find her in his dreams as he lay asleep in bed at night. Just as he predicted, his life had not been the same without her. When she left, she took a big part of him that he wasn't sure he could ever get back. At times, he tried to deny it. He went as far as to try to hate her even though it was him that did wrong, but of course, it didnt work. No matter how hard he tried, his love for her would never fade. He culdn't take it any longer. He picked up his phone and ddialed her number. His stomach twisted and turned with every ring, but after what seemed like eternity, he heard silence, followed by a familiar "Hello?"