Tiny Details

Is the future set and stone? Is everything that happens supposed to happen? These are some questions I've been asking myself lately. I've been thinking about life again (shocker, right?) and how certain things happen to make other things happen. For example, if I hadn't accidentally been assigned to sit next to my boyfriend in class, we never would have started talking. My mom was talking today about how she got in a wreck when she was younger that if it had landed just a little different, would have possible killed her. If that had happened, then I wouldn't be here. The tiniest details make the biggest differences. It blows my mind how this whole life thing works. If one little thing didn't happen that I have experienced, would my life be different? Would I be a different person? I have no clue, but it's amazing. Is it normal for a fifteen year old girl to be thinking these thoughts? That, I don't know either.  

Life

How amazing would it be if you were able to see your future? It would make life so much easier sometimes. I mean, think about it. You wouldn't have to suffer half as much as you do now because you would know that everything would be alright. Let's take a break up for example. If you could see how much happier you are going to be with someone else later on in life, then you wouldn't be as miserable. Not only would seeing the future help with these experiences, but other dramas in life too like maybe a fight with a friend or even just to see the person you are going to turn into. You would be able to see that you are going to be okay, no matter what happens. You don't really need to be able to see the future to know this though. Did you know that God puts you through everything for a reason? Well, he does. He does this because he knows it will make you a stronger person in the end to go through the things you do. Everything that happens to us in the past is part of what makes us who we are in the present. Even though it would be nice to see how things will turn out, we don't need to. We need to be able to take the bad things in stride with the good and just know that no matter what happens, everything will be okay eventually. Have you ever thought about that? How when things get rough, no matter what, it is always okay in the end? It's quite amazing actually. It's funny how life works that way, huh? Life is just a weird thing, really. It can be so confusing, so ugly, yet completely beautiful and wonderfully amazing. Life is,well, life. 

Young Love

Most people say young love isn't true love, that it won't last forever. In most cases, this is true, but not in all. If you're young and in love, don't listen to the people who are trying to discourage it. Who knows, you might be together forever. Just in case somehow for some reason it doesn't work out, just know that there is a reason. God has someone else in store for you that you will love so much more, even if you can't see it at the time. There have been thousands (or more) high school sweethearts who have made it past the "young love" stage onto what other people saw as the "actual love" stage were beyond happy for the rest of their lives. I personally think that maybe young love sometimes is truer love than meeting someone when  you're older. Why, you ask? Well, for various reasons. First of all, I know several couples that either got married in high school or married their high school sweet heart years after graduating that are happier than the couples that got married later on in life. Coincidence? Maybe so, but possibly not. When you're together at a young age, you experience so much more. I just mean more time together, but experiences as a teenager that turn you into the person you are in the present. The teenage years can be the toughest of one's life, and if the same person is with you through those AND through the regular experiences that other couples have during adulthood, you're love has a huge potential to be that much stronger.
      My great grandma Jane was telling me the story of her and my grandfather, Charles, the other day and it was the sweetest thing I think I've ever heard. It goes a little like this...

      Jane's was only fifteen when her older sister, Emmie,  had made plans to go on a date with a boy, but he couldn't go unless his friend Charles wen't to. Emmie wanted this date so badly but she had to find someone to go with Charles as well. What better person to ask than her little sister? Jane agreed, but she didn't think anything of it. She just figured she'd go along for only that night and forget all about the whole thing. As the night went on though, she decided that Charles wasn't so bad. Maybe she did like him after all. They began seeing each other more often, and after a few months, they never went a day with being together. Charles would come by after work every day to see her beautiful face. Their relationship went on like this for a short time before they knew that they couldn't bare the thought of not being together for a single second. At only sixteen, he asked her for her hand in marriage. She willingly agreed, but their parents had a different opinion. They told them that if they wanted it bad enough, they had to wait until both of them had turned seventeen. Without a choice, they went along with the plan. They wasted no time getting hitched once their birthdays had passed. Together, they lived happily ever after, almost like a fairy tale. Two kids were the product of their love, a boy and a girl both. They wondered how life could get any more perfect. Those kids eventually grew up to have kids of their own, and then they had children too. Jane and Charles had produced a wonderfully large family that they loved so very much. The couple hardly spent any time away from each other up until December 16, 2006 when Charles went onto Heaven to meet the Lord. Although Jane knew he was in a better place, she was devastated. Her knight and shining armor was gone, but still to this day, she looks forward to being able to meet the Lord as well and finally be back in the arms of her true love.

    See? True love at a young age is possible. If you love someone enough, don't be afraid to say it even if others try to convince you that you're wrong. True love may come at an early age, so be ready!

In His Eyes

In his eyes,
I see my happiness
In his eyes,
I see tomorrow
In his eyes,
I see my fairytale
In his eyes,
I’ve found my home

With his hands,
He keeps me safe
With his hands,
He holds my heart
With his hands,
He brings me closer
With his hands,
He carries me home

In his heart,
I feel warmth
In his heart,
I feel loved
In his heart
I feel forgiveness
In his heart,
I’ve found home

Summer

As of today, I've been out of school for two weeks and one day. I would just like to state that I think this summer just might be the best yet and that's saying a lot since the past 10 summers (approximately) that I've experienced during my school life have been fairly amazing. I mean, first of all, just not having to go to school is great on it's own. It's even better now that I'm older and aloud to hang out with my extremely loud, unpredictable, yet totally awesome friends. I'd say I've spent almost half of the summer already with them (which really isn't very much since we've only been out for two weeks) but that's still a lot of time and I'm loving every minute of it. I love the fact that I'm old enough to do things and go places without my parents. Not that I don't love spending time with them, because I do, but I just feel free. And old. I remember the first time I rode anywhere with my boyfriend (who has a car) I felt like a million bucks! It was really exhilarating being able to be out on my own. Now, three months down the road, he takes me places all the time and the feeling still hasn't passed. I'm not wishing my childhood away like some of you might think. I'm not really in that much of a hurry to grow up because I love my life just the way it is. BUT, I'm not exactly wishing for it to stay either. I used to think that I never want to grow up, and some days I still feel that way. I'm not all that fond of the thought of being old and married, but I guess it won't sound that bad when I'm actually to that stage of my life. Life goes on and that's just the way it's supposed to be. I guess it might get a little boring if we stayed the same age our whole life with the same rules and restrictions. Change is good. Change is needed. Change is welcome.

Hunger Games!!

   Hi. My name's Amadee and I am addicted to "The Hunger Games." (That was me standing up at a hunger games anonymous meeting) Is anyone else as addicted to this series as I am? I'm absolutely in love! I even got my dad to read it. I cant wait for the movie to come out. I'm not sure why though. Movies are never half as good as the books. Like the "Lightening Thief" for example. That whole movie was completely wrong! I don't know why I watch book based movies because I know the same thing will happen every time, but I just cant control myself! Sometimes I like to watch the movies just to see how messed up they are. Weird, I know. 
    Anyway, back to "The Hunger Games," I would like to give Suzanne Collins props for her amazing writing ability. I would love to see inside that woman's head! She must be really creative because the books were so well written and unpredictable. Just as you thought you were sure one thing was going to happen, she throws in something completely different from out of no where. It's quite amazing actually. I'm almost finished with the third book, "Mockingjay." I don't know what I'm going to do when I'm done!

Ooh, Silly Life. So Unpredictable, Yet So Beautiful.

    Over the course of the past year, I have been evaluating my life. (I know, not a very normal thing for a teenager to do, but hey.) First of all, I've noticed for the first time how fast life actually goes by. When I was little, I always thought the old people were just crazy when they told me that I needed to have fun and enjoy childhood. I couldnt wait to get older and become a teenager. My younger child years are now over, and I find myself looking back and wishing I hadn't waisted so much time waiting for the future. Now that I've realized this, I try to not look forward to things as much or think about the future as often as I once did. I used to dwell on what was to be, instead of living in the presant but this last summer taught me some very valuable life lessons. Actually, last summer changed my life. I met new people that, even though they have no clue, taught me things about myself I never knew. They changed my life. They dont know this now, nor will they ever, but I always will. I often find myself thinking about them at the most random times. Quite a bit actually. I find it funny how they dont even have a clue about how much they impacted my life. Because of these two people, I'm a totally different person. They finally made me realize that I'm not as worthless as I used to think, and I am just as good as I make myself. They taught me that if I believe in myself and take a chance, that good things will happen in return. They didnt mean to, they dont even know, but I do and that's all that matters. Even though they thought we were just having fun and hanging out, they taught me so much. Funny how life works that way, huh? Now, almost five months later, we dont talk often, but they will always be in my heart. I never imagined in a million years that two simple people would teach me so much, unintentionally change my life, but they did. Ok, so this wasnt supposed to be about that at all, but it feels good to finally get that out of my system lol! Well, anyway, the second thing I've noticed while evaluating my life, is that it's totally unpredictable. People have suddenly brought themselves into my life that I've always known, but never really payed much attention to. Some of these people have become my really good friends in a short period of time. There was one really good friend that I made a couple of months ago that I had heard my friend talk about a lot the past couple of years, but I never expected to be friends with him myself. Some how, we started talking. We talked for almost two months, and then we started DATING! Now, I'm not going to lie and say it was wonderful becasue we only dated for three days, but still. My point is that the strangest people can come in and out of your life before you even realize it. Life is strange if you think about it. I always used to think I had a boring life where nothing ever happened, but now I realize that I was wrong. My life is crazy, hectic, insane, but most of all, is beautiful. It's beautiful because it's mine, and there is no one else that lives a life exactly like it. It's unique and sometimes painfull, but over all wonderful. If you wish, sometime just look around and think about yours. Think about all the strange parts of it that you never had before. Think about the people in it, how they got there. Sometimes when you take time to sit back and reflect on yourself, you discover things that you never saw before. It can be scary at first, but then it becomes an interesting habbit. Sometimes when it's quiet or I'm alone, I like to reflect on what's going on around and what new things about my world I have never thought about before. It's definitely worth the time.

A Letter To You

       Has there ever been a time when you've really wanted to say something to someone, but you couldn't say it to their face? Something like "I love you" perhaps? Or anything, really. I've been there many times. Not necessarily "I love you" but different things. I've found that it is really helpful to write that person a letter, even if you don't ever plan on giving it to them. It gives your mind peace, as if you said it to them rather than just wrote it down on a piece of paper. 
       I'm a writer by nature, so I write quite often. Sometimes, when I don't know what else to write I'll write a letter to a random person that pops in my head, even if there's nothing specific I want to tell them. Sometimes I give it to them. and other times I just keep it for myself. I have a baggie full of letters I never gave to people in my desk drawer! This is just an idea that might help you clear your mind. I know it works for me!

Heros

   So, I've been watching the show "Heros" lately. Ever seen it? If not, you should definately check it out. I love it! It's about a bunch of people that all have different powers and are teaming up to save the world while also running from a crazy killer named Sylar who's main goal is to kill all of the "special" people so he can take their powers. It sounds super nerdy, and I have to admit, it is...but it's amazing!

   I was sitting at my desk tonight imagining which power I would like to have and I cant quite decide. There is a police officer (A.K.A Matt Parkman) who can read minds. It helps him do his job by letting him be able to tell if a person is guilty or not. I think that would be an amazingly cool power. I could do a job like that and help the world while using it for my own good as well. Wouldn't it be nice to be able to tell what people were thinking about you? Sometimes what you would hear would be hard to take, but I would rather know the truth. Everything wouldnt always be bad though. It would be fun to hear the good things people think that go unspoken. I would probably listen to people's thoughts all the time, even if they wernt about me. It would be really interesting hear what people think about when they dont think anyone else knows. I feel bad for anyone that could hear my thoughts! (not that they're bad, but definately confusing)

   Another power I think would be awesome is regeneration. Claire Bennete on "Heros" is able to do this. It lets her go into dangerous situations, like burning buildings, to save other people. It's almost impossible for her to die. It's not that I dont want to die, because I would love to go to heaven someday, but I dont want to go any time soon. It would be cool to have it untill I got to the age when people are suppossed to die. Then I would gladly give it up.

  Nathan Petrelli is able to fly. I would love to do that as well because it would make me feel free. I can remember when I was really little always wondering how the birds felt when they were flying. It has always fascinated me. There would be several advantages to this, such as not having to face rush hour traffic when your trying to be somewhere on time (I live in a little town in Missouri so I dont have to worry about this, but it would still be nice to have that option if I ever went to a city) Also, you would never have to fly on public planes if you're one of those people that are worried about terrorist attacks. Plus, it would just be fun!

Goodbye 2011, Hello 2012!!

   Well, it seems as though a new year has gone by yet again within the blink of an eye. Man, time sure does go by fast! Sorry I havent posted for awhile, my life has been hectic the past couple of weeks. Not a bad kind of hectic, but definately hectic. I had the honor of being in my cousin's wedding on new years eve, and lets just say I definatelly partied it up afterwards! HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I Am The Girl...

   I am the girl you see with a book in her hand every chance she gets. I am the girl who loves music almost as much as herself. I am the girl who puts others first, the one who loves the Lord more than anything and will stop at nothing to keep her family safe. I am the girl who tries to do what's right, always tells the truth, and worries a little bit to much. I am the girl you can trust with all of your secrets and know in your heart that I wouldn't say a word.  I am the girl that tries hard not to care what people think but doesn't always succeed. I am the girl who loves to write, the girl that has an imagination bigger than the world itself. I am the girl who is always thinking, even in her sleep. I am the girl that sits in class daydreaming out of the window with thoughts running through her head that no one else could decipher. The girl who thinks outside of the box. I am the girl who is only me, the one thing that I try to be. I am me.

Buried Alive

    I could hear the muffled sobs of my friends and family through the closed wooden door that kept us apart.
 Dont Cry.  I tried to tell them, but my mouth wouldn't move. I'm not dead I promise! I knew that, but they didn't. Everyone else thought my soul had departed itself from my body and made its way to a new place, but I knew differently. I knew were it really was, the truth. It was still tucked away inside my body, the same place it had been for the past fifteen years of my life. My body, on the other had, was somewhere it had never been before. I was being forced to attend my own funeral, but my heart was still beating. In fact, the longer I laid in that coffin, the harder it began to beat agains the walls of my chest.
    "Not my baby! She was to young to die!" I wasn't dead! What about this did they not understand?
    "It's ok. She's in a better place now."
    No Dad, I'm not! I"m still here, right in front of you! Would he miss me? Would anyone miss me?
  I felt a tear roll down my cheek. Maybe someone would see that I was crying! Maybe they'll realize that I'm alive!
  No such luck. NO one noticed. I tried to move my arms, even just a little, but nothing happened. I tried to say something but only I could hear it.
  Please! Help me! I screamed, but only I could hear it.
    My coffin started to move. They were putting me in the ground.
  Again, I focused all of my energy on opening my mouth. It didn't work, I was doomed! I was going to be trapped, six feet under thousands of pounds of dirt, grass, and all things living. There was nothing I could do now, but I wouldn't give up. Soon it was going to be to late but I refused to die without putting up a fight.
  They were lowering me down now. My chances were almost up. I was terrified. Sad visions of death flashed through my head. I shuttered at the horrible thought of being stuck here in my own personal dungeon-like coffin.
  I felt myself hit the ground. An avalanche of dirt fell upon me like snow off a mountain in the middle of winter. I laid there, silently, for what seemed like eternity. Gradually, oh so gradually, I was finally able to move my body. I clawed with utter desperation, trying to escape.
  "Help me! Help!" I screamed. "I'm alive! Can anyone hear me?" I knew they couldn't. My voice echoed against the sullen walls of the box that contained me. I laid down my head in surrender. It was over. I was over. This is where I would lay, from now through eternity.

Heart Break Love

***NOTE: THIS IS JUST A LITTLE STORY I WROTE. HOPE YOU LIKE IT!! :)***


          She loved him. She had loved him her whole life. He was on her mind where ever she went. They were together most of the time, but when they wernen't, he was still in her head. No matter where she was, he was always there. Just like a song that wouldn't quit playing. Nothing he could do would ever make her stop loving him, but it might make it impossible. He made her feel valuable, he made her feel happy. No amount of time she could spend with him would ever be enough, not even forever. But it didn't last forever. SHe knew things would never be the same. Not between them, and certainly not for herself. He was a big part of who she was and without him, she would never be whole. She hadn't the foggiest idea of how to live her life without him. Was it even possible? She was broken and torn, not sure ho to be happy if he wasn't in her life. She'd force a smile on her face even though it hurt, because a sad smile was better than no smile at all.
         He loved her. He always would just like he always had. He'd known her for as long as he could remember, and she meant the world to him. More than anyone else he'd ever known. She had always done everything with him, given him the chance to live on the edge. With her he shared the best times of his life. She was the one that knew him better than anyone, just as well as he knew his own self. She had turned him into the man that he was just by loving him the only way she knew how. By keeping his secret, he knew that she was hurting and, in return, it broke his heart. He hated to see her in pain, and he couldn't stand that the reason was him. Guilt tore through his body like a fire burning in the forest. He knew his life would never be the same without her in it. He was forever broken, unmendable. He knew by ending it, he was doing the right thing despite the pain it forcedhim.
        Three years later, she found herself in her junior year of college. The initial sting of losing him hadn't disappeared, but turned into a never ending ache. She kept the smile on her face, determined to be strong but never willing to forget the boy she had once loved. Still loved. She would never know the truth. All she could do was hope and pray that one day maybe, just maybe, her knight and shining armor would come looking for her once again.
       He never imagined that this much later in his life he would still find her in his dreams as he lay asleep in bed at night. Just as he predicted, his life had not been the same without her. When she left, she took a big part of him that he wasn't sure he could ever get back. At times, he tried to deny it. He went as far as to try to hate her even though it was him that did wrong, but of course, it didnt work. No matter how hard he tried, his love for her would never fade. He culdn't take it any longer. He picked up his phone and ddialed her number. His stomach twisted and turned with every ring, but after what seemed like eternity, he heard silence, followed by a familiar "Hello?"

Be Yourself. Everyone Else is Already Taken.

   Love yourself. That's one of the most important rules of life. If you dont love yourself, then you wont be able to know yourself and if you don't know yourself, then neither can anybody else. Be who you are inside because if you tried to be someone else your life would be a lie and you would never have the chance to be as happy as you possibly could be. It would be hard to fall in love with someone else if you didnt already love yourself because how could you expect someone else to love you if even you couldn't? God made you just the way he wanted to. That in itself makes you beautiful. Just remember this next time you look in the mirror and feel like your ugly or wish you looked like someone else. If God wanted you to be another way, then that's how he would have made you. But instead, he made you YOU!  Embrace it, love it, because there is no one else like you. If you know you're beautiful, so will everyone else. Be the best you you can be. Stand up for what you believe and say what you think. Love yourself, be yourself, define youself.

Unperfect...

    "I'm not a perfect girl. My hair doesnt always stay in one place, and I spill things a lot. I'm pretty clumsy, and sometimes I have a broken heart. My friends and I fight and maybe some days, nothing goes right. But when I think about it and take a step back, maybe, just maybe, I like being UNPERFECT.."

     Story of my life. I'm not perfect by any means, nor do I want to be. Imagine how boring life would be if we did everything right all the time? I mean, the idea sounds great and all, but really if you think about it, I would be pretty suckish. Everyone would always over-rely on you because they would know you would do things right. Helping people is wonderful, dont get me wrong. But the stress of everyone expecting nothing less than the very best  of everything would be extremely tough. Besides, if you never made any mistakes and nothing ever went wrong, then the chances of you being close to God is pretty slim. You would probably forget to think him for the things you have because everything would be wonderful all the time. You would have no reason to ask for his help, or for forgivness for that matter. That's a big part of forming a relationship with the Lord. I supposse part of being perfect would also include being a perfect christian, but it would be hard if everything went right all the time. Besides that, the excitement of not knowing if everything will be ok keeps life interesting. Let's face it, most of the time things end up just fine anyway but being unperfect is part of what makes life so wonderful! If you mess up, it's ok because as a wise man once said "Plenty of thing's are mistakes, but some mistakes are like seeds and they grow into purposes."

ROFL!!! :D



                 BAHAHA!!!

I don't know about you guys, but this happens to me all the time. Sad day :'( 

Haha!! Soooo true! Typical boy :P

I stubled across this website yesterday...ragestache.com...It's my official new favorite :-D This picture above is one that I downloaded from there. They crack me up!!



"Oh, The Places You'll Go!"

      "You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. Your on your own and you know what you know. You are the guy who'll decide where you go."

This is yet another quote by Dr. Seuss from his book, "Oh, the Places You'll Go!". His words always inspire me. This quote reminds me of what my parents used to tell me when I was younger. "If your friends jump off the side of the cliff, would you jump to?" Sometimes I wanted to say I would, just to be difficult. I dread growing up and getting out on my own, but this quote reassures me. I do have brains in my head, and I obviously have feet in my shoes. I have the capability of steering myself in any direction I choose. When I get on my own, I will still have the knowledge that I already know so I will be just fine. Sometimes, you may be tempted by other people to take a path in life that you know will only eventually lead to a dead end. You don't have to choose that path just because that's where people are telling you to go. Ultimately, you are the one who decides your where you end up. If you keep this in mind, you will make sure to end up where you desire instead of someplace that will lead to no good. It's your life, live it your way!

Good Apples

Girls are like
apples on trees. The best
ones are at the top of the tree.
The boys don't want to reach for
the good ones because they are afraid
of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they
just get the rotten apples from the ground
that aren't as good, but easy. So the apples
at the top think something is wrong with
them, when in reality, they're amazing.
They just have to wait for the right
boy to come along, the one
who's brave enoughto climb
all the way
to the top
of the tree.

I stumbled across this quote a couple of months ago, and found it quite true. I had never thought about love that way, but being a teenage girl in highschool, it makes perfect sense. All of the boys go for the gorgeous, flirtatious girls that are easy to get...just like the apples at the bottom of the tree. They dont want to work very hard for good girls that they, deep down inside, know that they truly want because they are afraid that they might fall and get bruised. The thought of this scares them, that's why they go for what is easily obtainable to them already. Because of this, the girls at the "top of the tree" feel like they arent good enough or special enough to be loved by any of these boys. What they (well, I guess I should say we) dont understand is that just because they dont feel like they are noticed, they are...and they are just as good as the apples on the bottom. When the right guy is willing to come along and climb all the way up to the top of the tree for you, that's when you realize that all of your time spent waiting and staying true to your values at the top was well worth it.

Passionate Regret

 A dazzeling glare
     From the white sand
            even on breathless days
                  A fat freckled boy
                         With the star
                             That seemed
                     To perch upon the tip
                              Of his finger
                          Filled with
                  Passionate regret

This was a poem I wrote for english class yesterday. We have been reading "Enchanted Bluff" by Willa Cather lately and our asignment was to write a poem out of only words we found in the story. I thought it would be difficult but I actually finished within five minutes. I really liked this asignment so I thought I would share :)

My 4th Wish...

    My fourth wish is something I've thought long and hard about. I've discussed this with my friends and they all tell me I'm insane and slightly creepy, but I've got it all planed out...I want to marry Bruno Mars.
   I would ask Adele to be my bride's maid, and since she's originally British, we would have our wedding in Britain to honor her. Because I don't think there are any oceans in Britain, (don't worry, I'm not stupid...I know the Gulf of Mexico is there and that is very clearly an ocean [Ok, I'm just kidding. Don't go calling the nut house to come pick me up or anything uncalled for because I've already had that experience and believe me, its not fun. Alright, I've never had that experience but it sounded cool right?]) we will just get married by a huge lake at sunset. Taylor Swift will also be one of my bride's maids, along with Colbie Caillat and my cousin, Ava. Adam Levine will be Bruno's best man, and standing next to him will be my brother, Schuyler. Cee Lo Green is going to be the generous man to permanately bring our tightly bonded love together untill death do us part (a.k.a. our preacher).
    During our reception, Bruno, Taylor, Adele, and I will preform a mini concert on a roof-covered dock for our guests. Everyone will cheer us on and afterwards, we will all dance to loud music and have a good time. I will then, for the rest of my life, live together with Bruno Mars in the beautiful Mars mansion.

Sounds practical, huh?