Tiny Details

Is the future set and stone? Is everything that happens supposed to happen? These are some questions I've been asking myself lately. I've been thinking about life again (shocker, right?) and how certain things happen to make other things happen. For example, if I hadn't accidentally been assigned to sit next to my boyfriend in class, we never would have started talking. My mom was talking today about how she got in a wreck when she was younger that if it had landed just a little different, would have possible killed her. If that had happened, then I wouldn't be here. The tiniest details make the biggest differences. It blows my mind how this whole life thing works. If one little thing didn't happen that I have experienced, would my life be different? Would I be a different person? I have no clue, but it's amazing. Is it normal for a fifteen year old girl to be thinking these thoughts? That, I don't know either.  

Life

How amazing would it be if you were able to see your future? It would make life so much easier sometimes. I mean, think about it. You wouldn't have to suffer half as much as you do now because you would know that everything would be alright. Let's take a break up for example. If you could see how much happier you are going to be with someone else later on in life, then you wouldn't be as miserable. Not only would seeing the future help with these experiences, but other dramas in life too like maybe a fight with a friend or even just to see the person you are going to turn into. You would be able to see that you are going to be okay, no matter what happens. You don't really need to be able to see the future to know this though. Did you know that God puts you through everything for a reason? Well, he does. He does this because he knows it will make you a stronger person in the end to go through the things you do. Everything that happens to us in the past is part of what makes us who we are in the present. Even though it would be nice to see how things will turn out, we don't need to. We need to be able to take the bad things in stride with the good and just know that no matter what happens, everything will be okay eventually. Have you ever thought about that? How when things get rough, no matter what, it is always okay in the end? It's quite amazing actually. It's funny how life works that way, huh? Life is just a weird thing, really. It can be so confusing, so ugly, yet completely beautiful and wonderfully amazing. Life is,well, life. 

Young Love

Most people say young love isn't true love, that it won't last forever. In most cases, this is true, but not in all. If you're young and in love, don't listen to the people who are trying to discourage it. Who knows, you might be together forever. Just in case somehow for some reason it doesn't work out, just know that there is a reason. God has someone else in store for you that you will love so much more, even if you can't see it at the time. There have been thousands (or more) high school sweethearts who have made it past the "young love" stage onto what other people saw as the "actual love" stage were beyond happy for the rest of their lives. I personally think that maybe young love sometimes is truer love than meeting someone when  you're older. Why, you ask? Well, for various reasons. First of all, I know several couples that either got married in high school or married their high school sweet heart years after graduating that are happier than the couples that got married later on in life. Coincidence? Maybe so, but possibly not. When you're together at a young age, you experience so much more. I just mean more time together, but experiences as a teenager that turn you into the person you are in the present. The teenage years can be the toughest of one's life, and if the same person is with you through those AND through the regular experiences that other couples have during adulthood, you're love has a huge potential to be that much stronger.
      My great grandma Jane was telling me the story of her and my grandfather, Charles, the other day and it was the sweetest thing I think I've ever heard. It goes a little like this...

      Jane's was only fifteen when her older sister, Emmie,  had made plans to go on a date with a boy, but he couldn't go unless his friend Charles wen't to. Emmie wanted this date so badly but she had to find someone to go with Charles as well. What better person to ask than her little sister? Jane agreed, but she didn't think anything of it. She just figured she'd go along for only that night and forget all about the whole thing. As the night went on though, she decided that Charles wasn't so bad. Maybe she did like him after all. They began seeing each other more often, and after a few months, they never went a day with being together. Charles would come by after work every day to see her beautiful face. Their relationship went on like this for a short time before they knew that they couldn't bare the thought of not being together for a single second. At only sixteen, he asked her for her hand in marriage. She willingly agreed, but their parents had a different opinion. They told them that if they wanted it bad enough, they had to wait until both of them had turned seventeen. Without a choice, they went along with the plan. They wasted no time getting hitched once their birthdays had passed. Together, they lived happily ever after, almost like a fairy tale. Two kids were the product of their love, a boy and a girl both. They wondered how life could get any more perfect. Those kids eventually grew up to have kids of their own, and then they had children too. Jane and Charles had produced a wonderfully large family that they loved so very much. The couple hardly spent any time away from each other up until December 16, 2006 when Charles went onto Heaven to meet the Lord. Although Jane knew he was in a better place, she was devastated. Her knight and shining armor was gone, but still to this day, she looks forward to being able to meet the Lord as well and finally be back in the arms of her true love.

    See? True love at a young age is possible. If you love someone enough, don't be afraid to say it even if others try to convince you that you're wrong. True love may come at an early age, so be ready!

In His Eyes

In his eyes,
I see my happiness
In his eyes,
I see tomorrow
In his eyes,
I see my fairytale
In his eyes,
I’ve found my home

With his hands,
He keeps me safe
With his hands,
He holds my heart
With his hands,
He brings me closer
With his hands,
He carries me home

In his heart,
I feel warmth
In his heart,
I feel loved
In his heart
I feel forgiveness
In his heart,
I’ve found home

Summer

As of today, I've been out of school for two weeks and one day. I would just like to state that I think this summer just might be the best yet and that's saying a lot since the past 10 summers (approximately) that I've experienced during my school life have been fairly amazing. I mean, first of all, just not having to go to school is great on it's own. It's even better now that I'm older and aloud to hang out with my extremely loud, unpredictable, yet totally awesome friends. I'd say I've spent almost half of the summer already with them (which really isn't very much since we've only been out for two weeks) but that's still a lot of time and I'm loving every minute of it. I love the fact that I'm old enough to do things and go places without my parents. Not that I don't love spending time with them, because I do, but I just feel free. And old. I remember the first time I rode anywhere with my boyfriend (who has a car) I felt like a million bucks! It was really exhilarating being able to be out on my own. Now, three months down the road, he takes me places all the time and the feeling still hasn't passed. I'm not wishing my childhood away like some of you might think. I'm not really in that much of a hurry to grow up because I love my life just the way it is. BUT, I'm not exactly wishing for it to stay either. I used to think that I never want to grow up, and some days I still feel that way. I'm not all that fond of the thought of being old and married, but I guess it won't sound that bad when I'm actually to that stage of my life. Life goes on and that's just the way it's supposed to be. I guess it might get a little boring if we stayed the same age our whole life with the same rules and restrictions. Change is good. Change is needed. Change is welcome.

Hunger Games!!

   Hi. My name's Amadee and I am addicted to "The Hunger Games." (That was me standing up at a hunger games anonymous meeting) Is anyone else as addicted to this series as I am? I'm absolutely in love! I even got my dad to read it. I cant wait for the movie to come out. I'm not sure why though. Movies are never half as good as the books. Like the "Lightening Thief" for example. That whole movie was completely wrong! I don't know why I watch book based movies because I know the same thing will happen every time, but I just cant control myself! Sometimes I like to watch the movies just to see how messed up they are. Weird, I know. 
    Anyway, back to "The Hunger Games," I would like to give Suzanne Collins props for her amazing writing ability. I would love to see inside that woman's head! She must be really creative because the books were so well written and unpredictable. Just as you thought you were sure one thing was going to happen, she throws in something completely different from out of no where. It's quite amazing actually. I'm almost finished with the third book, "Mockingjay." I don't know what I'm going to do when I'm done!

Ooh, Silly Life. So Unpredictable, Yet So Beautiful.

    Over the course of the past year, I have been evaluating my life. (I know, not a very normal thing for a teenager to do, but hey.) First of all, I've noticed for the first time how fast life actually goes by. When I was little, I always thought the old people were just crazy when they told me that I needed to have fun and enjoy childhood. I couldnt wait to get older and become a teenager. My younger child years are now over, and I find myself looking back and wishing I hadn't waisted so much time waiting for the future. Now that I've realized this, I try to not look forward to things as much or think about the future as often as I once did. I used to dwell on what was to be, instead of living in the presant but this last summer taught me some very valuable life lessons. Actually, last summer changed my life. I met new people that, even though they have no clue, taught me things about myself I never knew. They changed my life. They dont know this now, nor will they ever, but I always will. I often find myself thinking about them at the most random times. Quite a bit actually. I find it funny how they dont even have a clue about how much they impacted my life. Because of these two people, I'm a totally different person. They finally made me realize that I'm not as worthless as I used to think, and I am just as good as I make myself. They taught me that if I believe in myself and take a chance, that good things will happen in return. They didnt mean to, they dont even know, but I do and that's all that matters. Even though they thought we were just having fun and hanging out, they taught me so much. Funny how life works that way, huh? Now, almost five months later, we dont talk often, but they will always be in my heart. I never imagined in a million years that two simple people would teach me so much, unintentionally change my life, but they did. Ok, so this wasnt supposed to be about that at all, but it feels good to finally get that out of my system lol! Well, anyway, the second thing I've noticed while evaluating my life, is that it's totally unpredictable. People have suddenly brought themselves into my life that I've always known, but never really payed much attention to. Some of these people have become my really good friends in a short period of time. There was one really good friend that I made a couple of months ago that I had heard my friend talk about a lot the past couple of years, but I never expected to be friends with him myself. Some how, we started talking. We talked for almost two months, and then we started DATING! Now, I'm not going to lie and say it was wonderful becasue we only dated for three days, but still. My point is that the strangest people can come in and out of your life before you even realize it. Life is strange if you think about it. I always used to think I had a boring life where nothing ever happened, but now I realize that I was wrong. My life is crazy, hectic, insane, but most of all, is beautiful. It's beautiful because it's mine, and there is no one else that lives a life exactly like it. It's unique and sometimes painfull, but over all wonderful. If you wish, sometime just look around and think about yours. Think about all the strange parts of it that you never had before. Think about the people in it, how they got there. Sometimes when you take time to sit back and reflect on yourself, you discover things that you never saw before. It can be scary at first, but then it becomes an interesting habbit. Sometimes when it's quiet or I'm alone, I like to reflect on what's going on around and what new things about my world I have never thought about before. It's definitely worth the time.

A Letter To You

       Has there ever been a time when you've really wanted to say something to someone, but you couldn't say it to their face? Something like "I love you" perhaps? Or anything, really. I've been there many times. Not necessarily "I love you" but different things. I've found that it is really helpful to write that person a letter, even if you don't ever plan on giving it to them. It gives your mind peace, as if you said it to them rather than just wrote it down on a piece of paper. 
       I'm a writer by nature, so I write quite often. Sometimes, when I don't know what else to write I'll write a letter to a random person that pops in my head, even if there's nothing specific I want to tell them. Sometimes I give it to them. and other times I just keep it for myself. I have a baggie full of letters I never gave to people in my desk drawer! This is just an idea that might help you clear your mind. I know it works for me!

Heros

   So, I've been watching the show "Heros" lately. Ever seen it? If not, you should definately check it out. I love it! It's about a bunch of people that all have different powers and are teaming up to save the world while also running from a crazy killer named Sylar who's main goal is to kill all of the "special" people so he can take their powers. It sounds super nerdy, and I have to admit, it is...but it's amazing!

   I was sitting at my desk tonight imagining which power I would like to have and I cant quite decide. There is a police officer (A.K.A Matt Parkman) who can read minds. It helps him do his job by letting him be able to tell if a person is guilty or not. I think that would be an amazingly cool power. I could do a job like that and help the world while using it for my own good as well. Wouldn't it be nice to be able to tell what people were thinking about you? Sometimes what you would hear would be hard to take, but I would rather know the truth. Everything wouldnt always be bad though. It would be fun to hear the good things people think that go unspoken. I would probably listen to people's thoughts all the time, even if they wernt about me. It would be really interesting hear what people think about when they dont think anyone else knows. I feel bad for anyone that could hear my thoughts! (not that they're bad, but definately confusing)

   Another power I think would be awesome is regeneration. Claire Bennete on "Heros" is able to do this. It lets her go into dangerous situations, like burning buildings, to save other people. It's almost impossible for her to die. It's not that I dont want to die, because I would love to go to heaven someday, but I dont want to go any time soon. It would be cool to have it untill I got to the age when people are suppossed to die. Then I would gladly give it up.

  Nathan Petrelli is able to fly. I would love to do that as well because it would make me feel free. I can remember when I was really little always wondering how the birds felt when they were flying. It has always fascinated me. There would be several advantages to this, such as not having to face rush hour traffic when your trying to be somewhere on time (I live in a little town in Missouri so I dont have to worry about this, but it would still be nice to have that option if I ever went to a city) Also, you would never have to fly on public planes if you're one of those people that are worried about terrorist attacks. Plus, it would just be fun!

Goodbye 2011, Hello 2012!!

   Well, it seems as though a new year has gone by yet again within the blink of an eye. Man, time sure does go by fast! Sorry I havent posted for awhile, my life has been hectic the past couple of weeks. Not a bad kind of hectic, but definately hectic. I had the honor of being in my cousin's wedding on new years eve, and lets just say I definatelly partied it up afterwards! HAPPY NEW YEAR!